Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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