i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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