did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
