he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We are all done wearing pants today
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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