Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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