i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
