I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
