He is an equal opportunity slut.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
