Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
