He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
