So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The best revenge is premature balding
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
