I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
