sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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