hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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