Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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