actually, I'm a sock model
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
