You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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