When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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