the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
