And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
