It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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