He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
