Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
