Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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