have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
