there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Panties = found
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
