Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Sober January is a disaster.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
