he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
