so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
