I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
