New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
