Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
