Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
