The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
