shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
