is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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