New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Swine flu is the new snow day.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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