Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
