i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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