I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
