I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
