That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
