Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
