Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
