If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
