How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
