The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
