Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
