Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
