you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
