You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
