I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
All I want is dick and wine.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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