I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
