You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
